Support Group Time:
What do you do when you just can't argue with someone? Walk away? Try again later? Get help?
I'm doing my best to keep calm but having troubles. Constantly criticizing my Kid. Me and my parenting skills. How I pay bills (hey, at least **I** pay them!). So much ... and it's really frustrating to never ever hear "you're doing a good job with this" or that or whatever.
Frustrating. Nope, that doesn't begin to cover it.
I saw Jenny McCarthy on the View last week (was it her or someone else on another show?). Whoever. She said when she broke up with her last ... guy ... that she made a list of all of the faults she saw in him. HE did this. HE didn't do this. Etc. Then after he left, she changed the list to read SHE instead of HE, and it was quite an eye opened.
Something to think about. Something I'm working on. Why does it tick me off so much that Hubby's so critical of my Kid when my Kid can't help it? Just one of many questions I'm working on.
Hubby has a lot of the next 2 weeks off. Has to use up vacation time .. use it or lose it. So tensions will be running high. I'm working on how to keep my Kid out of Hubby's hair while he's home, but meanwhile, I'm going to give it my best to NOT overeat. And to NOT go back to thinking about food and snacks and chocolate ... every second of every day! I'm losing again, and want to keep it that way.
Anyway, if my posting these last two weeks of 2010 is sporadic, you'll understand why. I just can't get on the computer and be free to type whatever without the possibility of someone reading over my shoulder.
Have a good weekend, all!
Oh yeah, remember, I need to know ... what do YOU do when you just can't argue with someone? What are your techniques to avoid it escalating?
Yet another delay
-
I honestly started back on my writing, while preparing to get the house
ready to sell and monitoring my son's epilepsy ... then it happened.
Another lump ...
2 comments:
Vee, I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I will be honest, I have low tolerance for arguing. I have a VERY low tolerance for criticism. I have a low tolerance for everything when it comes to other adults. My kids are another story. If anything ever happened between my husband and me I doubt I would get married again. He is probably the only person on earth I can tolerate and vice versa. So I have very little advice about how to handle conflict, as I do not do it well myself. I do feel concerned that you think you need to keep your kid out of your husband's hair. That is pretty difficult in your own house!
That comment about your husband hit home. My husband is very critcial about our kids about things that aren't in anyones control. The answer I've come to realize is this. They had an image of who their kid/kids were supposed to be. And what they got doesn't match up to what that image is. They have to learn to let go of the fantasy child in order to accept the real one. I know this because for a while I struggled with this with my oldest daughter. When I finally realized this I also realzied how much this mentality played out with my other chld at the time, my oldest son. So when my youngest three came along and with all their issues. I was way more understanding and accepting. We also have to forgive ourselves for doing this. It's not an easy thing to realize that you've been guilty of. It's not easy to either to realize that your child or in my case children have issues that color them just outside of the box of what would be considered normal. That's one of the reason I hate that scale of normal. Who get's the power to set what is and what is not. I think so much of these issues we have should be included on the scale of normal. What's not normal is a pyschotic serial killer. That definitely shouldn't be included. But our kids - they are normal. (((hugs)))
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